Wrapping presents…who came up with this idea?

By
Mindy
Published: December 21, 2009Posted in: General/MiscellaneousComments: 18Tags: , ,

Phew. 

I’m done.  I have completely finished all of my seasonal materialistic obligations.  The hubby and I dropped the kids off with my folks on Saturday evening (thank you very much Pops and Gamma, so sorry about the ribbon incident) and finished up with what has become a very drawn-out gifting experience. 

I’ve already posted about my personal feelings on what this season has become to many people.  I’ve also posted about the insanity that sets into people when a sale price is posted and about my own panic earlier this month at the realization that I was nowhere near as progressed with my gift list as I had thought.  But now?  It’s all a moot point because I AM DONE!

After the last swipe of the debit card we hurriedly rushed home and I laid out my bounty of benevolence, admiring what the recipients are hopefully sure to love.  I came to a very sudden and upsetting realization.  I now had to wrap every stinking one.

I hate wrapping presents.   

And, I do not use the word “hate” lightly.  In fact, I’ve noticed that it is an extremely overused word.  There are, I’m assuming, very few instances where the sentiment actually applies to the situation.  For example, “I hate these boots.” (Extremely dislike?  Yes.   Hate?   Unless they are somehow making you look fat, not likely.)  “I hate it when you do that.” (Probably fustrated. Unless we’re talking about when Jer sports his underwear uniform until noon.  I really do hate that.)  “God, I hate you…I mean, who can eat a dozen Krispy Kremes and not gain a single pound!?”  (Okay, I understand this one.  Hate actually does appropriately describe this particular situation.  You get my point.)

Back to the presents.   I love buying them and absolutely despise having to wrap them up.  I know people who get all Zen by the process and claim that it’s their favorite part of the season.  Crazy people.  I’d be more likely to volunteer my services at a cockroach petting zoo than a gift-wrapping station. 

Here’s the problem.  I have zero patience.  I get out all the goods, raid my supplies for ample tape, scissors, paper and ribbon.  Set it all out before me and…proceed to walk away for about an hour because I’ve already exhausted my creative mind. 

When I come back to it I am typically fresh and ready to start.  I lay out my first box, cut the paper effortlessly, tape down the sides marveling at my own ability to estimate the correct paper size, find the perfect ribbon to adorn the package, add my gift tag and sit back to admire my handiwork.

And then I get to the second present.

This is an entirely different experience.  Inevitably, the paper will rip in 400 different places as I cut it to size.  I will most likely have mis-measured and will need to cut another strip to compensate for the shortage.  I will use 30 yards of tape as most of it will fold in on itself and refuse to stick to paper or package but adhere with gusto to my fingers.  I will frustratingly finish the project with a mismatched bow and “To” and “From” scrawled across the back of the box with a black Sharpie.  As I work through the pile of presents it will only get worse and worse.  Actually, by the end I’m lucky if I’m still using Christmas paper as my work gets so sloppy I have most likely used it all and have moved onto that roll of St. Patrick’s Day paper I was coerced into buying by the neighbor kid. 

I’ll bring out the motley crue of wrapped Christmas gifts, which I’m sure would be turned away at the manger even if offered up by the magi, and shove them under the tree making sure to shift the really bad ones toward the back.  Because I’m slightly type “A” I will then have to immediately put away all of the wrapping supplies thereby removing the source of extreme stress and frustration from my sight.  And just as I set the last bow into the rubbermaid tote I will discover that I have forgotten about three or four presents stashed in my closet.

And the entire process above is repeated. 

So what about you?  Are you one of those people who looks forward to wrapping the presents?  Is it part of a family tradition with Christmas music playing in the background and a mug of hot cocoa at the ready?  Or is it a stress-inducing chore that requires lots of rum?

If I didn’t love and anticipate the slightly melodious sound of ripping paper I would probably dump the whole process and start using gift bags.  However, it just doesn’t feel the same.   So, every year I will continue to dutifully wrap each and every present which graces our Christmas tree.  I will continue to buy my Scotch tape in bulk at Costco and will undoubtedly be required to explain to the kids why they have shamrocks and pot o’ golds plastered all over their packages. 

I’m hoping that someday I will become awash with creativity, but until then there will always be rum. 

Happy Holidays, Mindy

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