Half a Haircut

DSC_4088

I mentioned yesterday that my dog was suffering from depression due to his ridiculously half-completed haircut. I thought I should explain how this came to pass.

Lewis is a Shih-Poo mix (half shih tzu/half poodle…emphasis on the ‘shit’, hehehe). I know, real mature.

He has very thick, curly black hair that grows like he’s the poster child for Rogaine. It’s obnoxiously kinky and tends to mat if not properly groomed.

Ahem.

Confession time here. We are the most neglectful parents.Lewis’ haircuts are so far and few between he typically struts around the house looking like a canine Rastafarian with dreads up the wazoo. Literally.

After his last trip to the groomers, wherein I was basically threatened that Lewis would be given “one more” chance to behave himself or would receive the old “86″ Jer and I decided it would be prudent to keep his haircuts limited to home. Lewis doesn’t really mind it and has surprisingly been relatively tame through the entire process much unlike the frantic wailing he’s prone to do at the hands of a trained professional.

Because I’m not really into the ‘Rasta’ look I begged Jeremy to give him a bath and cut his hair before I had family over for dinner last Sunday. That’s right. Last Sunday.Approximately 5 days ago. I knew we didn’t have time for a full-fledged clipper fest so I requested that Jer only trim his face so that Lewis could actually use his eyeballs. (There’s nothing more painful than watching a dog who can’t physically move the hair out of his eyes but doesn’t fully understand that fact.)

So, Jer got a little carried away. Hair was flying all over the kitchen. Jer was manning those scissors with the flair of Vidal Sassoon himself. Which would havebeen fine if Jer had the time to complete the cut.

“Jer, you’re cutting off too much hair on his head.”

“No, I’m not. It’ll be fine. Besides, since his hair’s wet it looks like I’m cutting off more than I am.”

“Um, Jer.

“No, seriously. When it dries it’ll look a little fuller.”

“Jer, that dog is rocking a virtual ‘fro’. It’s gonna shrink when it’s dry.”

“Mm hmm…we’ll see.”

Jer finished his faux-cut and headed toward the bathroom to blow-dry the dog. (Lewis shivers miserably unless he’s finished off with a hairdryer. It’s kind of a bonding moment between man and dog. And hairdryer.)

Moments later the dog came loping out of the bathroom, head hanging in shame. I immediately knew something was wrong given his normal post-drytendency to shoot out of the bathroom hell bent on racing around the house at speeds unnatural for an 8-pound shih-poo.

Not so this time. And this would be why.

DSC_4092

Lewis looks like a depressed potato bug. A roly-poly as my daughter likes to call them. His head is tiny. His body is big. He looks ridiculous.

DSC_4089

And Jer is responsible and has yet to rectify this shameful situation.

You may be asking yourself, “Now, why doesn’t Mindy just finish the haircut herself?”

Because Jer decided to criticize the last haircut I attempted to give the dog thereby sealing his fate that he will be the only one wielding scissors in this house. Ever.

So there you have it. I’m hoping that Jer will view this post, see the sadness lurking behind Lewis’ devoted little eyes and correct his error quickly.

A depressed Shih-poo does not a happy household make.

Happy Friday,

Mindy

  • tinkerschnitzel

    I have a confession to make. We had a chihuahua for many years that shed EVERYWHERE during the summer. She hunted out my basket of clean clothes to lay on every time. We decided one year to shave her to stop the shedding. Yes, she looked like a very large rat. A sad, pathetic rat. Don’t feel so bad now, do you? :)

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Yeah, I guess the ‘potato bug’ look is slightly better than the ‘large rat’ look. Slightly. =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.busylori.wordpress.com Lori

    Oh dear oh dear oh dear…

    It’s mean…but I’m laughing so hard at that little follicularly traumatized pooch.

    And 8 pounds? The larger of my evil cats is 13 pounds. We must NEVER get those two together. Unless Lewis can climb really fast.

    Poor doggie.

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Yeah, he’s teeny tiny. And I’m pretty sure your cat could take Lewis down in mere seconds. He hides from hawks flying around in the backyard. =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.ourfrontdoor.us Mindee@ourfrontdoor

    So glad you’re posting again, but sorry you have such a sorry subject. As for “just doing it yourself”? Marriage is a complicated balance. Don’t mess with it.

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Amen. I told my husband that everything works out much better when he just does what I say. =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.whatpassesforsaneonacrazyday.blogspot.com Spot

    Am I the only one who thinks Lewis looks okay? Maybe the pictures don’t do his sad hair justice. He just looks adorable to me. I want a little dog so badly. But everyone else in my house likes big dogs. And I’m afraid one of the cats might eat a small dog.

    Glad to see you back!
    ♥Spot

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      He definitely looks more pathetic in person. His mood is the clincher, though. He’s obviously down and out about his ‘do. =)
      Mindy

  • http://suzicate.wordpress.com SuziCate

    My mother’s shih tzu used to hide under the bed after they’d have her groomed!!! I think that Lewis is adorable even with half a haircut! Tell Jer he better get it together or you might make sure he wakes up with a Lewis “do”!

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Oh, I warned him, all right. I noticed he pulled out the clippers this morning, though. I’m thinking he’s sensing the seriousness of this situation. =)
      Mindy

  • http://blackroseheart.wordpress.com Shelli

    Now I don’t need to work out today! I’ve gotten all my exercise from laughing so hard, my stomach hurts! Thanks! :-D

    Oh, and I loved the “emphasis on the shit” part! Mature? No. Funny as hell? Yeppers! (I’m not the best discerner of mature anyway!)

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Aw, who needs to be mature anyway? It’s no fun. =)
      Mindy

  • Wendy

    Aaahhhh, he is cute,,, I do see a little bit of the roly poly bug look in the 2nd photo but cute none the less :) I have a 3/4 mini aussie mixed with 1/4 Yorkie…although all her siblings look like aussie (like they are supposed to), mine lookes like a mutant Yorkie….the groomer’s comment to me when I took her in “uhhh….what do you want me to do with that?” haha. I feel your pain :)
    Wendy

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      I about spit out my coffee at your groomer’s comment! That’s hilarious! Your dog is adorable, though. And not a bit of depression in his eyes. =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.andi-rambling.blogspot.com Andi

    My husband and I argued over a route I took back to Oklahoma from Texas early in our marriage. It went like this: Fine! From now on, you can drive wherever you want, all of the time because I’m not driving anymore!” And he replied: Great! At least I won’t be taking idiotic routes like this!

    And he has since driven. Every. Single. Time. Be it 20 miles or 700. He drives.

    Sorry, but he made a bad decision 13 years ago, and he’s still paying!

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Love. It. You are a woman to be reckoned with. We could be long-lost sisters. =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.andi-rambling.blogspot.com Andi

    Alright, Chiquita (I really do picture you as this petite little lady with a sleek cap of ultra shiny close cropped hair, and exotic, Audrey Hepburnish features. I’ve no idea why…

    Anyhoo, I just linked up a post to you. It will post tomorrow, so expect a plethora of hits tomorrow…

    Or maybe one. But, either way, I linked up to ya!

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Well, if by “petite little lady with a sleek cap of ultra shiny close cropped hair” you mean “short chubby lady with wild curly blonde chin-length hair” then you are right on the ticket! Thanks for the shout-out!! =)

  • http://rabidtidbits.blogspot.com christina

    Lewis doesnt look that bad to me. I think he is adorable. 8lbs? 3 of my bunnies are bigger than Lewis.

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      I’m pretty sure that he’s 8 pounds only when he’s been gorging on snacks. He’s teeny tiny. I think that’s hilarious that he’d be dwarfed by your bunnies. Would probably give him a bit of a complex. =)
      Mindy

  • http://thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com The Lumberjack’s Wife

    Well, I can’t tell it is a bad haircut, but since you do not like it, I think it should be fixed.
    So, Jer?
    Jer?
    Fix it.
    (you’re welcome)

  • http://thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com The Lumberjack’s Wife

    Well, I can’t tell it is a bad haircut, but since you do not like it, I think it should be fixed.
    So, Jer?
    Jer?
    Fix it.
    (you’re welcome)
    PS-hope your family is all better

  • http://thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com The Lumberjack’s Wife

    It appears I have left two very similar comments.
    This is because I have super cool computer skills and never get confused.

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Obviously, you’re one talented and gifted computer chick who feels the need to comment not once but twice. I, for one, am appreciative. =)
      Mindy

  • http://momentsofmommyhood.blogspot.com/ Sandy

    He’s adorable!

    I stopped by to welcome you to SITS! It’s great to have you in the SITStahood!

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Thanks Sandy! I appreciate the welcome! =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.susieshomemade.blogspot.com Susie’s Homemade

    Awwwww…poor thing!!

    Welcoming you to SITs! I hope you enjoy the party:-)

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Thanks for stopping by my humble abode!! Y’all know how to make a gal feel welcome! =)
      Mindy

  • http://www.screamingmimiblog.com Mimi

    I always hate it when our miniature schnauzer Oskar gets a bad cut!

    I’m stopping by to welcome you the the SITS family!

    • http://www.thesuburbanlife.com Mindy

      Thanks Mimi!! =)
      Mindy

  • http://bnhwelc.blogspot.com Heather

    Wow! I didn’t realize he was as small as my Chaquita (chihuahua). He looks so much bigger, gotta be the hair. Poor thing does look so sad.

  • Sandee

    Maybe we should make a playdate for Linus and Lewis! Lewis would feel better knowing there is another dog out there with a similar haircut!!

  • Tiffany

    Omg My dog Lucky looks just like him! Except he’s got pug in him because of his curly tail. But my dad gave him too much chewy candy so he weighs about 40lbs. He’s not fat just very bulky…. And he gets dreadlocks so we trim him and he looks just like Lewis! And lewis Looks so cute with a haircut.