Sometimes, I absolutely amaze myself. Just when I think I might possibly be getting most things right in this parenting business I realize I couldn’t be any more wrong.
I try so hard at being a parent with forethought…a parent who not only considers the current consequences of both my own and my children’s actions but also pays very close attention to what the future could bring. I believe in educating my children at every opportunity. I believe in not only teaching them how to be better people but almost more importantly, why.
With Avery at the malleable age of seven I find multiple opportunities for education. She comes home from the first grade ripe with stories just waiting for a “what should you/they have done?” kind of ending. And I’m extremely proud to say that most of the time my little girl has got it right. Thanks to me. And all my lessons. In life. Well, mostly me. And some of my lessons. In life.
And sometimes I have it absolutely wrong. Very, very wrong.
Case in point:
Avery came home from school the other day, upset written all over her little face.
“What’s up?” I asked her.
“Nothing. Something just happened during reading groups today,” she answered, visibly bothered.
“What happened? Something bad?” I asked, visions of Avery flying over the kidney-shaped group desk in a tangle of flailing fists assaulting my mind. (Granted, the chances of Avery engaging in a fist fight are very slim but after her mini-skirt debacle I now question everything.)
“Well, I didn’t do anything bad. But *so-’n-so* did,” Avery said.
“What did he do?” I asked.
“He lied,” she answered. “He said that he read something but I know he didn’t because I saw him not read it.”
“You saw him not read something?” I asked, for clarification.
“Yep. I saw him not do it.”
Weird. But…teaching moment at hand!
“Well, what do you think about that?” I prodded.
“I don’t think it’s okay,” she said.
“Why?”
“Um, because we’re not supposed to lie. It’s not right,” she answered.
“Why isn’t it right?” I asked, waiting for the aha moment.
“Because it’s…not…right?” she said. Obviously we’ve stretched the moral compass of her little seven year-old mind as far as it will go.
“Yes, Avery. It’s not right. At all. Lying hurts our hearts. Sometimes we can’t tell that it’s hurting us but eventually we’ll feel it. Okay? In fact, lying is so bad that God actually wrote a rule about it.” Man, I’m hitting a home run with this little lesson.
“He did?” she asked.
“Yep. He sure did. He knew how important it was for us to live our lives honestly that He created the Golden Rule. Thou shall not lie.” Rounding the bases and heading home.
“Wow. That is super important,” Avery said.
“Yes, yes it is,” I answered. Ahh, it’s fulfilling to be so enlightened.
“Um, that’s not the Golden Rule,” interrupted Jer.
“Excuse me?” I said.
“You told Avery that ‘thou shall not lie’ is the Golden Rule and it’s not,” he said.
I sat looking at him for a moment, contemplating whether he could actually be right or not. Hmm.
“Are you sure?” I asked, having lost some of the bravado I had been so previously inspired with.
“Um, yeah. I’ve been sure for about 30 years,” Jer said.
“Well, then what the heck’s the Golden Rule Mr. Smarty Pants?” I asked.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In other words, treat people the way you would want to be treated.”
Oh. That’s right. Crap.
“Um, yeah. Avery. Be nice to people. That’s really important. But also you’re not supposed to lie. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Great.”
Yep. I amaze myself. Sometimes there are lessons to be learned within lessons to be taught. My lesson? Check with Wikipedia before preaching morals and ethics.
Mindy
Related posts:
Mindy
You were doing really well right up to the end there. I’m sure the message made it through. And for future reference, “do not lie” is number nine of the Big 10.
Yep, that’s typically my method. Do awesome until the part where it counts. Thanks for the reminder! =)
Mindy
Yep, your Jer was a Boy Scout…they always learn the golden rule (as well as in Sunday School). Leave it to the hubbys to correct us. Either way, you’re teaching Avery good stuff, no matter what the rule is technically speaking.
Well, thanks! I do, however, think it would be much more effective if I at least had my facts straight! Working on it…
Mindy
Your doing a great job! Every oppertunity to teach is a great oppertunity. So many parents neglect that, so you go girl!
Thanks Heather!
Mindy
Not lying to people IS being nice to them. So it kinda fits, in a weird round-about way. So go to Jer and tell him, “I was right!” And if you can get him to repeat that to YOU, even better!
I will get right to work on that!
Mindy
Thank goodness there are still parents who bother to teach their kids this stuff. Sometimes I worry that kind of caring is dying out. Avery is a good girl.
Thanks Christina. She is a good girl and thankfully someone who WANTS to be good. Now…her brother is somewhat of a different story.
Mindy
If it helps any, I was so following along with you on the Golden Rule until Jer stepped in and corrected us.
I know, right? Surely my rendition fits in there somewhere.
Mindy
*snicker* Gotta love it when the hubby corrects ya, huh? It’s the opposite in my house: I’m the reader, the one who is constantly learning … the one who is constantly correcting others. You got off easy with Jer! I would have gone off on a long-winded explanation about the origins of the Golden Rule (loooong before the bible, btw).
Well, thank goodness it ain’t you and I who are married! I don’t think my intellect could take it.
Mindy
Maybe the golden rule should be “thou shalt not correct me in front of the children”. Duh Jer. He could have saved that tidbit for later, I mean, you were on a roll there, and it was an important lesson. Besides, can’t there be more than one “Golden Rule”. I’m pretty sure I could come up with at least 23.
Sounds like Avery’s on the right track, which is definitely a parenting win.
♥Spot
Yeah, we’ll be going over that rule here real soon. “Thou shall keep your mouth shut.”
Mindy
Well, what can you do? Do not lie is definitley in the Bible. So no worries there!
We all have those crazy parenting moments, don’t we?
AH . . . . it is amazing God has entrusted us with these little lives, isn’t it?
I think it’s great when kids see their parents be human. Sounds like you handled that perfectly – modeled the behavior you would want your daughter to have. You may not have gotten the words write, but what you did was pretty much golden rule material!
I think it’s great when kids see their parents be human. Sounds like you handled that perfectly – modeled the behavior you would want your daughter to have. You may not have gotten the words write, but what you did was pretty much golden rule material!