Cider and Pumpkins and Halloween Candy…Oh My!


photo courtesy of Public Domain Pictures


The month of apple spiced candles and warmly colored mums.

The official beginning of a guilt-free spree of purchasing Kit Kats and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (and then repurchasing because   “Ummm…what happened to those bags of candy?  Damn.  When did my ankles start getting fat?”

The trees begin dropping their brightly colored leaves.  All over my lawn.  And in my gutters.  And on my sidewalk.  Ahhh.  Ain’t it grand.

The start of bipolar-esque weather in my part of the country, the beautiful Pacific North-friggin’ A it’s raining again-West.

Pumpkins.   :-D

The kids begin perusing ideas of Halloween costumes and I begin crushing their dreams.  (I mean, doesn’t anyone want to be a cowboy, ghost, or even a good old fashioned street walker anymore?)

Guilt-free purchases of Kit Kats and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  Oh, wait.  Did I already mention that?

Spooky home decorating.  What other time of the year is it acceptable to not only ignore but glorify your ceiling cobwebs and dead flies in the window sill?  Perfection.

The cooler weather calling for soup.  And soup usually calls for bread.  Which calls for butter.  Which then calls for dipping back into the soup.  It’s a beautiful cycle.

The start of an exciting long season of family get-togethers and holiday celebrations.

I love this month.


Holy Slacker, Batman!!

Hello my friends! It is I, your resident “slacker” blogger. I’m not going to say that I can’t believe that it’s been almost a month since my last post. Because I can believe it. Every time I walk past my computer and say to myself, “Why are you not writing anymore?” and then continue to walk past my computer I am reminded that I have really dropped the ball on this blogging thing. But, like most things in life, blogging ebbs and flows and I’m ebbing right now. Or am I flowing? Does anyone actually know what “ebbing and flowing” actually entails?

A little update on what’s been happening in this Suburban Life as of late? School seems to be going well for the kids. Jack hasn’t been kicked out of preschool, yet, so that’s a good thing. Hey, I find the positive in even the smallest of achievements.

Halloween was a resounding success. Our neighborhood supplied an upwards of 350 kids with candy and an approximate 700+ parents with gigantic headaches.

Jack rocked a “Gnome” look and Avery pretty much mastered a sullen “Goth-teenager.” I have to say I shudder every time I see my sweet, kind little lady dressed this way. My mind involuntarily flashes forward about 8 years and I begin frantically searching my cupboards for Maalox.

And then I see her like this…

My little Pilgrimettes...Avery (on the right) and her BFF/Cousin Sophie

…and remember that all is still fine in my world for now. She’s still willing to wear a paper “Pilgrim” hat and without a single “Gawd, mom, you’re totally like ruining my life” uttered from her sweet little innocent mouth. Ahh, the beauty of 3rd Grade school programs.

Alas, we’ve all just been hunkered down in the confines of our warm house settling in for a wet and potentially snowy winter. We’ve had some record cold days followed by warm wind storms. All of this equals…horribly frizzy hair. I’ve just about given up on caring but being that I have a tendency to learn towards a more “vain” approach to life I am thinking about starting a stylish handkerchief trend. The only problem is I’m not really a trendsetter, per se, and if I were, the only person who would probably follow along with me is 8 years old. Not a very reassuring thought.

So, I will say “Goodbye” for now, my friends, and hope to be back again soon. Stay warm, and for Pete’s sake get some anti-frizz in that hair! Stat!



Um, hello? Hello? Anyone in this blog? **Crickets**

Whew doggie, has it been quite a long time since I have stepped foot into this beautiful blog o’ mine. If I didn’t know any better I would swear that I had been transported to some alternate universe where time slowed to a fraction of its original because I can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I have posted a little “hello howya doin?”. And trust me, I am not so self important as to testify that I have just simply not had the time to dedicate but, come on, its been TWO months. I’m pretty sure I could have squeaked out an “I’m still here and life’s still crazy.”

So, if anyone is still out there, allow me to first say, “Wow, you are one dedicated muchacha!” And then let me say, “I’m sorry for leaving you hanging so long.”

We have shimmied our way into summertime and I’m sure all of you know what that means…time to find more uses for rum. The kids are running around aimlessly, caught somewhere between extreme overstimulation and mind-numbing boredom. We’ve all already caught sunburns and have finally remembered to slather up in SPF and the beautiful sunshine is doing a great job of highlighting our faded paintjob on the house. That’s just great.

Other than yelling at my kids to “Shut the damn screen door!” and lamenting over my inability to show some Blogging love, we have been all aflutter in your basic summertime activities. There has been some sprinkler action, and some camping action. We have gone boating and have ate some terrific backyard barbecue. We celebrated America’s birthday with a bang ~ literally ~ and participated in our neighborhood’s annual bike parade. All in all, it’s been a pretty good summer and I am looking forward to what is still to come.

I’ll leave you with the following pictures and a promise that I will be back.

Bye for now, friends.

4th of July

My Yankee Doodle Dandy

WHERE Have You BEEN???

I really wish I could say, “Well, dahlings, I’m so sorry I’ve been absent but I’ve just been on a FAB-ulous world tour and couldn’t spare the time to say hullo.” But, that would be lying. In fact, it would be more on par to say, “Well, dahlings, I’m so sorry I’ve been absent but I’ve just been puttering around my own house picking up dirty clothes, stepping on Littlest Pet Shops and building semi-passable Valentine’s day school boxes.” Not as fabulous.

But, alas, I’m here today and wanting to say “HELLO my friends!”

And, as I quipped, things have been very “standard parenting” around these parts which means I’ve been busy and things have been hectic. Both of the kids have seemed to up their demands exponentially for their ol’ mom and Jeremy still seems to be invisible to their immature retinas (explanation here).

And as for my semi-passable Valentine’s day school box? Imagine realizing at 10:30p.m. that your preschooler is supposed to present a decorated valentine receptable and 40 valentine’s cards to his class at 7:30 the following morning and all you can find is a dilapidated shoe box, some seriously suspect “all occasion” wrapping paper and a single heart sticker. Magic happened people. Jer and I whipped out a pretty sweet little Valentine’s day box and luckily I had already picked up Jack’s cards. We sent Jack to school that morning, shoe box in hand, ready for the party and card exchange, anticipation giving him a noticeable spring in his step.

After school and on our way home in the car, Jack was telling me how excited he was to open up his box and see all the surprises he had in there. I tried to explain to him that the box would be filled with little cards, just like the Spiderman ones we had picked out. But it would be fun to look at all the different pictures and to read all the little sayings. I wanted him to realize that there might be a conversation heart in there or two but to not expect a bunch of candy.

Boy, was I wrong.

We ripped open that box and we were looking at a portable version of Target’s candy aisle! That box was packed with sweetness and Jack could barely contain his excitement. I could barely contain my embarassment at realizing I was probably the only parent who did not include cavities with her valentines.

Jack started shuffling through the various offerings and all of a sudden I spotted one very familiar red leotard-clad superhero peeking out between Dora the Explorer and Princess Belle. So, Jack had decided to gift himself with a Valentine. How cute. Suddenly noticing the Spiderman valentine, Jack lifted it out of the box and began inspecting it. I could see confusion (and a little disgust) plastered across his tiny little face.

“Hey,” he said.

“What buddy?” I answered.

Gripping (his own) Spiderman valentine in his fingers he asked, “Why come this boy didn’t give me no candy?!”

Oh, Jack.


“Merry Christmas Is Over”

Anyone think there should be a holiday celebrating the end of a holiday? I believe most of mankind would benefit from a mandatory resting period beginning no later than the evening of December 25th, after the kids have been strapped down into bed, their bodies having begun withdrawal from 48 hours of sugar-induced hyperactivity. As part of the post-holiday holiday, parents would be strongly encouraged to drink lots of wine while soaking in bubbly bathtubs and listening to Michael Buble on their iPods. There would also be a choice of replacing wine with beer, bubble baths with football and La-Z-Boys and Michael Buble with, well, pretty much anything else. This will be an equal opportunity holiday and will last as long as necessary to restore a tiny bit of sanity to the world.

I know I could sure use the reprieve. This year has unequivocably been our busiest year yet in terms of Christmas preparedness and general jovial activities. The kids embraced the Christmas spirit with gusto and made what is already an enjoyable experience, magical. But, that “magic” comes at a dear price tag. Energy. Lots and lots of energy. I’ve been sucked dry.

I will have more details to come just as soon as my blood pressure comes down, my left-eye stops twitching and I regain my original vocabulary, which has since been taken over by words like “remember, Santa’s watching”, “our Christmas lights are fine, Avery” and “Jack, get off the Christmas tree!”

I hope you and yours are having a joyous holiday season!