Last week, I posted a few of the strangest (and some slightly disturbing) keywords searched on Google resulting in random visits to my blog. It has yet to cease to amaze me that 1) not only are people searching for some pretty off-the-wall results, but 2) somehow the ‘brain’ at Google connects them to me.
Now, I’ve been known to key in a few weird search words myself, such as, “toddler poop willful attitude,” or “dog sleeping with husband” which have undoubtedly shown up on someone’s Google Analytics account. But here are a few that landed in my account and left me saying, ‘huh?”
1) Book:Mindy Superhero Fly – Now this one spooks me a little because I’m pretty sure that word of my superheroism has spread and perhaps someone is ‘googling’ me in hopes of extending an invitation to the Justice League. I’m quite certain there is a growing need for my mad skills and lightning speed reflexes. This just might be my time to shine.
2) Calvin and Hobbes Hammering Nails into the Table – Huh? I’m racking my brain here and cannot come up with a single reason someone would be directed to my site with these keywords. I think Google is messing with me. Perhaps they’re anti-Justice League and are trying to throw me off my game. Your little plan won’t work, Google. Or is that even your real name?
3) Glad I’m Not a Man Feminist- Now, what exactly might a man feminist be? A man sympathetic to the feminist movement? A feminist sympathetic to the male movement? A manly feminist? A feminist man? If you’re out there googler, please contact me. I must know your purpose.
4) Mozzarella Sticks Bowel Movement – Whoa, doggie. I’ll have to admit I’ve had a cheese stick or two which succeeded in wreaking havoc on my digestive system. And lucky me, the gurgly tummy tends to flare up at parties. Parties not located at my house. Which leads me to wonder, was this a person frantically looking for some answers? Had their party-driven snack fest resulted in a little extra-curricular time on the commode and this was a panicked search from the iPhone during their 3rd trip to the bathroom? Imagine their major disappointment when they were directed to this post. Hope they got out of there okay.
5) Toga Boobs - Again with the boobs. Now, if I’m to join the Justice League I will have to address this issue. I want, no, I need to be taken for the serious superhero that I am. I will not be reduced to a mere sex symbol. Yes, I have boobs. And, yes, I have worn a toga. But I’m so much more than that. It’s time that people stop focusing on my ladies and start focusing on my gifts. This had better be the last ‘boob’ search I come across.
So, there you have it. Another brief glimpse into the minds of those who have visited my blog, albeit for some it was most likely a short stay. (So sorry cheese-lover.)
Happy Monday,
Mindy
