I think I might be a superhero.
Now, before you close this browser down because you’re thinking I’m a totalwackadoo, let me explain and you be the judge.
I first noticed my abilities after I had my daughter, Avery. I would bring little toys to the changing table to keep her busyduring diaper changes. Avery was one of those babies who would thrash and scream when touched with a cold baby wipe. (Okay. I did not invest in a wipe warmer. Shoot me.) During diaper changes, Avery wouldknock her toys off the table and mid-butt wipe I would reach down and catch the toy before it hit carpet.I figured it was some maternal/hormonal-type thing happening and never gave it another thought.
About two years ago I was cleaning out the linen closet knee-deep in threadbare towels and used votive candles. Iguess I’d been working too hard because suddenly a huge candle holder shifted and fell off the top shelf. I reached up and caught that puppy before it knocked me senseless.
I remember another time the hubby and I were driving somewhere.Jer was driving andI was in the passenger seat.I saw something moving out ofthe corner of my eye and reached out to grab it beforeit hit Jer in the face. I saved his life, people. Serious superhero material. (Okay, it was just an insurance card which had been stuck up in the visorbut it could have cut his cornea or something.)
I catchdrinking glasses falling out of cupboards, silverware falling off of counters and playdoh falling out of the hall closet. (Okay, maybe I shouldn’t store the playdoh on the top shelf. It’s not necessarily the safest place to keep it.) Wow, I’m discovering all kinds of things about myself, including my apparent disregard for my kids’ comfort and safety.
It didn’t really even hit me that my gifts could be peculiar until I was watching an episode of “Heroes” with Jer. Someone was freezing time or shape-shifting or something and Jer asked, “If you could have a superhero power, what would it be?” I jokingly answered, “Well, mine would probably be magnetic energy since I catch everything that falls.” And then it registered. OH. MY. GOD.I am a superhero.
Now that I know what I am,what do I do with this gift? Do I stalk retirement homes to catch any falling senior citizens? Or maybe I start volunteering my services at expensive glass shops?
No, I’ve got it. I should totally sign up for one of those cash-in-a-booth games. You know the ones where you grab at all the floating cash and get to keep whatever you catch? With my super-hero capabilities I would clean up on a game like that.
It’s odd being a super-hero. I don’t really feel any different. I still feel like the same old Mindy. In fact, I’m now starting to think I’ve imagined the whole thing. I think—oh, sorry. I had to catch a fly.
Oh. My. God. I was right.