I look at makeup like a romantic relationship. There are definite stages involved with choosing the right one. Like a romance, there’s that very first time you see or meet each other otherwise known as Stage 1. There’s a spark, an almost tangible chemistry and you just feel the need to be together. It’s amazing and everything flows exactly right. Now, Stage 2. You’re getting to know each other a little better. The spark is still there, going strong, but you are just starting to figure one another out. You venture out a little more, introducing yourselves as an item to the public. And then, Stage 3. Oh, man, the honeymoon is over. Something isn’t working. What started out as a beautiful thing has now become a hot mess. Stage 4 – It’s over. You part ways and start looking again. Man, I have had a lot of dead-end relationships with some pretty diverse cosmetics.
I don’t know about you but I think makeup can make or break your day. Now, obviously, there are all kinds of variables involved in having a great makeup day. Just how much coverage are we talking here? Upon waking, does your face have more lines and crevices than a topographical map? (What’s up with that anyway? How can you go to bed looking like a relatively normal person and then wake up the next morning looking like you’ve suffered an intense allergic reaction to your pillow?) Are you able to have a cup of coffee? Is the humidity below 35% in your bathroom? Are your kids leaving you alone while you are working on application or does your son pull things out of your makeup drawer with the skill of a career shoplifter then smear lipstick all over himself with a RuPaul-esque finesse? (Definitely another topic for another day!)
Even with the most perfect conditions makeup application can be tricky. And you know within minutes whether it’s going to work or not. If things are looking positive you stare at yourself in the mirror with admiration and say to yourself, “Damn, I am looking good!” Maybe you do a few “America’s Next Top Model” poses and even “Vogue” a little. You then sashay to your closet pulling things out and marveling at the plethora of options you have. Birds are chirping at your window and even little baby deer are nudging you with their soft, downy noses. Now, if things aren’t looking quite so positive you definitely still stare at yourself but suddenly you’re wondering, “When did I get so old? I mean, seriously.” You start pulling and tugging at your face honestly contemplating how you might be able to hold it all back with a rubber band! You stalk over to your small-ass closet where there is absolutely nothing to wear and why do you care because nothing is going to fit anyway? And there definitely are no frickin’ birds chirping at your window this morning! I mean, listen to me. I’m getting more pissed off by the minute even thinking about this kind of day! But, Lord knows I have had them!
Getting back to my romantic relationship analogy, I think it takes experimenting with a lot of duds before you find your perfect match. Later on, I will be reviewing some of my duds and matches hopefully helping you along in your quest to find that perfect makeup day! (Birds and deer are extraordinary results and cannot be guaranteed!)
Love to all, Mindy
Don’t forget to unload all your stage 4’s on Sara and I – with me getting first pick, of course!
You got it!