My hubby and I can be kind of cheap. Not in the traditional “count every penny and waste not/want not” kind of way. More in the “loathe spending money on things that won’t benefit us in some way, shape or form” kind of way.
This “cheapness” extends itself into different parts of our lives. For instance, we both hate buying batteries. They are just so temporary. And then there’s the whole responsible disposal element. So much pressure. We also can’t stand spending money on stamps, therefore guaranteeing that at any point in time we are needing to mail something,we will be out of them. We stand there, staring at the stampless envelope as if by sheer brain power alone we can figure out an alternative way to mail the thing. We haven’t come up with one yet but will let you knowas soon as we do.
The third and probably most soul-suckingly frustrating expenditure of our hard-earned cash is groomingour dog…Lewis.
Lewis is one part poodle, one part shit-zu and one partgiant pain in my butt. He’s probably the world’s laziest animal and spends his entire day finding different throw pillows around my house to form into a misshapen nap spot. He is a teensy little guy, weighing all of 8 pounds, and is somehow magnetically attracted to my feet as I find him under them throughout most of the day. He also has an abnormally large amount of hair on his little butternut squash-sized body and therefore requires quite a bit of upkeep.
Lewis is a little over 3 years old and has been to the groomer approximately4 times.He has spent the better part of his young life looking like a cross between a small hairyrodent and an oversized brillo pad.
Did I mention that we’re cheap?
So, Jer, in all his fiscally-minded brilliance decided that he would cut the dogs hair. Why not? He cuts Jack’s hair and has been cutting his own for several years now. (Occasionally he gets all Vidal Sassoon on us and cutsboth my brother’s and neighbor’s hair. I’ll admit it’s a tiny bit disturbing to see his hands brushing across my brother’s forehead. Gross.)
Anyway, how hard could it be? Right?
Oh. My. God.
I am pretty sure that dog groomers have got to be one of the most under-appreciated masters of artistic expression. They have a gift, people. A serious calling. My husband stood there hacking away at that dog’s hair for two hours. Two flippin’ hours. I heard more cuss words coming out of his mouth than a drunk sailor. Hair was flying, scissors were slicing and the dog was…
sleeping. Through it all. Jer had to result to cradling the dog like a newborn baby because Lewis refused to stand upright.
With each snip of the scissors I could feel poor Jer’s manhood slipping through the cracks.
With each slice of the blade I could feel Jer wilting into a shadow of his former self.
And then it was over. Sure, we saved ourselves $30.00 in grooming fees, but what did we lose instead? Jer’s pride? His machismo?
Should I have—nah, it was worth it. I’d rather have the 30 bucks. I’ve already penciled in Lewis’ next hair appointment.
Awww…. Poor Lewis! He is sooo cute! Can I have him for a bit? This was a good laugh you gave me on a gloomy / rainy fall day… Thank you! =)
What’s your address? I’ll send him FedEx. =)
Mindy
Well, it looks like he did a great job if that’s any consolation. I can’t believe your dog slept through that!!!
I hate buying batteries too. And I never keep stamps. I just stick it in the mailbox with 50 cents and the mailguy takes care of it for me.
♥Spot
Yeah, the dog looks pretty good, I must say. I had no idea you oculd actually just put money in the mailbox. That trick would have saved me so many trips to the minimart for stamps! =)
Mindy
Can he come trim our dog Nestlie’s toenails? She can’t get around too much anymore so her nails are getting long?
He did a great job on the fur cut.
I buy my stamps at costco, it is cheaper than the post office….I still don’t understand how they can do that?
Have a good day………..weekend is almost here! YAY!!
Sure enough! I’ll send Jer over ASAP. Maybe he should be looking into a new line of business, eh?
You know, I’ve seen the stamps at Costco, and you’re right. How do they sell them cheaper? Maybe it’s a black market kind of situation.
Mindy
Mindy, go spend the $30 you saved on a set of electric clippers…they work wonders and save a ton of time. We had to shave our chihuahua once because we couldn’t get rid of all the fleas. Talk about looking like a rat! Oh, and we used a hand razor, so she looked doubly rediculous. LMAO
A hand razor? I can’t even imagine! =) We actually have some electric clippers but no very good ones. Lewis’ hair is SO thick the clippers get stuck in it. Talk about a ticked off dog. =)
Mindy
I have given thought to grooming our Standard Poodle myself. But then I found out that there is something called an “anal gland” and that you have to squeeze and drain it.
Suddenly that grooming fee was worth every penny.
Oh. Gawd. Maybe every other time would suffice for Lewis’ grooming. =)
Mindy
I want to feel sorry for Lewis, but he so obviously needs no sympathy. Now Jer on the other hand…..
Ha, good try, it would have been nice to have that extra $30. Jer’s machismo, priceless.
🙂
Jer would very much appreciate your sympathy. =)
Mindy
This is so funny – my husband and I are the same…hate to spend money. And he did the same thing: tried to groom our westie dog himself. And our results were the same as yours as well – Coco only goes to the groomer now. As you say, it is one expense that is worth the money. One tip that we do – we have him shaved rather than the traditional cut. Then we let him grow out until he looks like a mop. I really like his mop look anyway. Great pics!
Westies are so cute! Yep, Lew might just need the ol’ crewcut next time to make it last longer. =)
Mindy
A loong time ago…I had a large poodle given to me and I have never taken a dog to get groomed, so I proceeded to try to do it myself. Bad move! There is just something about that curly hair, that is so unmanageable! I ended up giving it to my parents!
If I had one now, I would definetly spend the money for the professinals to do it.
Yeah, we’re thinking we MIGHT have to switch things up next time and let the groomer have him…especially after reading about the anal gland, thanks to Mindee.
=)
Mindy
Les’see … batteries = rechargable
stamps = online bill paying
haircuts = electric clipper
I cut my Husband’s hair, ’cause he refuses to get it done anywhere else. I used to cut my Son’s hair when he had a buzz cut or a mohawk, but now he’s decided on the hippie look. I have NO idea how to do that, so off to the salon he goes. LOL
I think I buy maybe 4 stamps a year. My problem is getting to the post office during business hours, since I sleep during the day.
The dog was cute! Made me smile. 🙂
We have gone the rechargeable route but it’s really not so effective when the charger sits in a drawer surrounded by used up, yet to be charged batteries. I tried cutting my hubby’s hair…once. Just once. About ruined our marriage. =)
Mindy