I recently realized something about myself. I should have realized this little tidbit a long time ago. I mean, there were all kinds of signals. I’m quite sure that anyone who knows me probably would be shocked to find out that I am just now figuring this issue out. Here it is…I am COMPLETELY unaware of my surroundings.
Well, there you go.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been sitting next to Jer, snuggled into the passenger seat, on our way to some destination and I don’t remember getting from PointA to Point B. And why is that? Because I am sitting in that seat blissfully unaware of anything around me. We pass sheep, hay fields, sheep in hay fields (or so I’m told)and I don’t notice any of it. And if we happen to visit that destination again? I have no clue how to get there. Ever. People look at me like, “Don’t you remember? We just went there last week!” Remember being there? Yes. Remember how to get there? Um, no.
I also have a problem remembering people I’ve met. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a grocery store and some woman comes up to me smiling and waving. She starts in, “Oh, my God. I haven’t seen you in forever! How have you been? How are the kids? Avery is in, what, first grade now, right? God, she is getting so big. And, Jack. Now, Jack just had a birthday, right? October 12th, I think. God, it was so nice to see you!” And I stand there, most assuredly with a dumb look plastered on my face, trying to figure out how in the heck this stranger knows so much about me. And more often than not I leave the interaction having absolutely no idea who that person is and then quickly forget the whole situation until the next time I see the chick at the grocery store and relive the humiliation. It’s horrible.
Okay, so there are those people who are completely aware of what’s going on around them, know all the details of everyone they meet and you can count on them to give you accurate directions to that outlet mall you visited three years ago. (Not me.)
And we’ve already established thatthere are those people who have absolutely no awareness of anything going on around them, don’t remember anyone they meet and couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag. (Yep, unfortunately that’s me.)
I’m all about self-acceptance and decided I would come to terms with my total ignorance. That is, until tonightwhen I was introduced to a very unfortunate website…www.peopleofwalmart.com. Have you seen this atrocity of mankind? It is basically a website devoted to displaying captured photos of stereotypical yet textbookWalmart shoppers…in all manners of dress. And they are bad. Really bad. Like, other-wordly bad. And seeing these unaware shoppers prominently displayed for all the web-world to see got methinking about those “Obesity in America” specials showcasing the entireoverweight spectrum. You’ve seen it. Poor unsuspecting citizens stuffing McDonald’s fries into their mouths as they sashay down the city block with a news camera pointed right at their bulging guts.
You guys…these people HAVE to fall into the “completely unaware” category. Although I’ve never (okay, one time on a late night trip for Tylenol) worn my pajamas to Walmart and usually ALWAYS wear a braI now live in paralyzing fear that my picture will show up on that website, or even worse, my butt will be showcased in some TV special. All because I do not pay attention.
Rest assured, I am going to work on this issue. I will only wear my most stylish clothing to Walmart and from now on I will be looking around for hidden news cameras when I’m out and about. Hopefully, with my new weigh-in partner, I will soon no longer be a candidate for those specials so this will all be a moot point. But until then…my radar is engaged.
Love to all, Mindy