I made a big mistake. Huge. Humongous. I should have known better. I should have recognized my own weaknesses.I should have known when to say “no.”
I should have neverbought that Halloween candy…the party pack, no less.
About a week ago I was doing my grocery shopping, minding my own business, cruising along the aisles. And then I saw them. They were displayed so neatly and festively decorated with that telltale color scheme…orange and black. I tried to ignore them. I really did. I even passed by the dang aisle a few different times, scoffing at the hoards of people gathered around the Twix/Reese’s combo bags. God, get a life, people. There’s still a whole month before Halloween.
Wait a minute…they’re on sale. Oh my God. Keep walking, Mindy.
I circled around the grocery store a few more times and stop back at the Halloween aisle, again. What the heck. I’ll get a jump on the holiday. After all, they’re on sale. So,I throw in the Twix/Reese’s combo party pack and continue along on my way.
I get home and promptly place the candy on the top shelf of my dish cupboard. Out of the way. No problem. I’ll grab one when I’m craving something sweet. I’m pretty sure I just read an article about the importance of keeping “fun size candy” around if you have a sweet tooth. Much better than consuming a whole candybar.I have actually done myself a favor by picking this candy up. Good for you, Mindy.
Fast forward a couple of days…
Oh, dear Lord in Heaven, deliver me from this evil Halloween candy. It beckons me. I’m powerless over it. Why did I buy Twix and Peanut Butter Cups? They’re my favorite. Man, I should have bought Smarties.
Alright, get a grip Mindy.Enlist hubbies help. Very proactive.
Me: Jer, do not let me eat anymore of that candy. I mean it. If you hear that bag open, get your butt in here and stop me.
Jer: You got it.
Oh, my God. This is really working. Using Jer as my accountability partner was GENIUS! God, I’m hungry. <rustle, rustle, rustle>
Jer: Mindy…what are you doing?
God, I’m good. I am definitely in the wrong field. I’m sneaky as a fox. Should have been a CIA operative or spy or something.<reaching into bag>
Wait a second. There’s…Oh, Thank the Lord. The candy is gone. Completely. Well, good. Glad that whole debacle is over. Great. Don’t need it anyway. Hmm. (I wonder if they are still running that 2-for-1 sale at Safeway?)
Moral of this story: DO NOT BUY HALLOWEEN CANDY ONE MONTH BEFORE ACTUAL HOLIDAY!! You will not save it, no matter how good yoru intentions are. It can be hazardous to your health…or at least the size of your thighs.
Love to all, Mindy