Not surprisingly, upon initial reflection as to what my most pressing goals for 2011 were to be, what came screaming at me front and center was my weight. Now folks, I’ve always been what many may consider “curvy” and at many points in my life I have considered that an attribute. And, although I’ve never been slim, by my early twenties I had come to terms with my body, which probably could have been featured in a certain 90’s rap video. (I’ll give you a hint…he likes “big butts and he cannot lie.”)
Unfortunately, after two kids and way too many ingested calories my “curves” have become less of an attribute and more of an unfortunate circumstance. And stuffing my curves into a pair of jeans is now starting to resemble stuffing a bunch of meatballs inside a nylon sock. Yep. Go ahead and visualize it for a moment. Not pretty.
Enter Goal Numero Uno.
Obviously, weight loss is not a new concept for me. And if I were to be entirely honest it’s a concept which annoyingly inhabits much of my brain power (well, weight loss and planning my son’s future inevitable stint in the pokey for indecent exposure…more on that at a later time.) I have been consumed with the idea of a Heidi Klum body for as long as I can remember and have taken some drastic measures to get there (to read further into these humiliating moments of mine go here and here). The longer it takes me to get my Heidi Klum butt the better Kirstie Alley is starting to look as my end-goal.
But this year is different. And why is that, you might be asking? Because this year, I have changed my tactics. I have become a full-fledged member of a fitness facility. That’s right. I have joined ranks with the millions of aerobic devotees in this beloved country and signed my name on the dotted line to a 12-month commitment towards attaining a better body.
It should be as easy as that. Right? Well, let’s just say that my initiation as a gym rat didn’t go quite as planned. Let’s just say that I now have a posse of baby boomers who purposely avoid me and my preferred cardio equipment. Let’s just say that I made quite an impression with my fellow workout compadres. Yes, I did.
More to come…