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You are here: Home / Everyday Stuff / Our Tooth Fairy Sucks

Our Tooth Fairy Sucks

March 25, 2010 by Mindy 16 Comments

I have a bit of a bone to pick. There’s a very popular someone highly admired by another certain someone in this house that is not living up to their commitments. Strike that. Their one commitment. Their one and only job they are tasked to do.

We have got to have the flakiest Tooth Fairy around town.

This particular fairy has had it pretty easy around here. They have only been assigned to one child thus far, a handful of baby teeth. I’ve known fairies out there who are juggling three, four or sometimes five kids at one time…an infinite number of teeth lost. And those fairies manage to get their job done. Those fairies manage to sneak those teeth out of various bedrooms leaving their various tokens behind.

Not so with our Tooth Fairy. Case in point.

Avery lost a baby tooth yesterday. She’s 7 years old and has already lost a few over the last couple of years. Well, let me just tell you that our Tooth Fairy has a horrible record in terms of consistency. I’d give her about a 60% success rate in tooth/money exchanges. Which is utterly pathetic.

This most recent loss is no exception. Avery went to bed, excited to see what prize would await her in the morning. Her brother got to “pend to-nite”with her thanks to spring break and they both nestled deep into bed, with one last look at the teeny little tooth awaiting its fate on the dresser, before falling fast sleep.

Apparently, so did the Tooth Fairy.

Jer and I were woken up bright and early the next morning by a timid little voice saying, “Mommy…the Tooth Fairy didn’t come.”

Ugh. Not. Again.

“Um, honey,” I began.

“She forgot to bring me any money. She left my tooth in the cup,” Avery said, perplexed.

“Um…here, climb into bed and watch some cartoons. I need to run into the kitchen,” I said, hurriedly.

“M’kay,” she answered, climbing into my side of the bed and covering up.

Damn tooth fairy. Damage control.

Eureka!

“Avery!” I yell as I ran into the bedroom. “Come here,” I said.

“What?” she asked.

“You need to see this,” I answered.

“Okay,” she said, excitement creeping into her voice, following me into the kitchen.

“Look!” I exclaimed, pointing at the kitchen counter.

“Wow…” Avery said, eyes wide.

I began to explain, “Apparently, the tooth fairy couldn’t make it all the way into your bedroom last night…”

“Mmm hmmm…it’s probably Jack’s fault,” Avery said.

Naturally.

“I mean he woke up,” she said. “He probably scared her away,” she finished.

Ah-Ha!

“You are probably right, sweetheart. So, because she couldn’t get in there to get your tooth, she left you a dollar here in the kitchen,” I said.

“Maybe, she’ll come back for it tonight,” Avery said, hopeful.

“Yes, Avery. I have no doubts that the Tooth Fairy will be back for your tooth tonight,” I resolved.

Even if I have to leave that flake a little note reminding her.

And, so she did. Tooth Fairy hightailed her little glittery butt into Avery’s room last night bearing two quarters and a package of Smarties in exchange for a two-day old tooth.

Let’s hope this latest fiasco is the last one. However, I have a sinking feeling it won’t.

Poor Jack.

Mindy

Filed Under: Everyday Stuff, Family Life Tagged With: Avery, losing a tooth, the suburban life, tooth fairy

Comments

  1. christina says

    March 25, 2010 at 4:55 AM

    Ahem, you really really need to talk to that Tooth Fairy. This is one of the biggest highlights of being a kid. Make sure and discuss things with the Easter Bunny too.

    Reply
  2. Lori says

    March 25, 2010 at 6:04 AM

    It really seems like it’s bordering on disciplinary action.

    Reply
  3. Spot says

    March 25, 2010 at 6:19 AM

    The tooth fairy really is a flake. We had some problems with her at our house too. And when Lu finally busted her, well, it wasn’t pretty. Lol.

    Loved the damage control.
    ♥Spot

    Reply
  4. SuziCate says

    March 25, 2010 at 7:25 AM

    You had the same tooth fairy you guys have…I didn’t think she’d still be around! Yep, a lot of damage control through the years with both kids and all those teeth.

    Reply
  5. amber says

    March 25, 2010 at 7:42 AM

    hahahaha! my tooth fairy sucks too!
    but good for you for thinking quick on your feet like that before coffee!!!
    way to go Min!

    Reply
  6. Wendy says

    March 25, 2010 at 8:56 AM

    Yep….same tooth fairy at our house, however, “she” did make amends with my youngest when she left extra money for a tooth that was swallowed. Never let Jeremy convince one of your kids to lay down while he extracts the tooth,,,,wasn’t my idea but as I stood in the other room listening to John tell kenzie to “lie down, I will be the dentist”, I did not run fast enough to stop the inevitable.
    Good luck to Jack, haha

    Reply
  7. Marly says

    March 25, 2010 at 8:57 AM

    Interesting. She’s been a problem at my house too! She claimed it was something to do with my daughter being too light a sleeper. Maybe we should give the tooth fairy a break though. From what I can tell, she’s a very hard worker…

    Reply
  8. Mindee@ourfrontdoor says

    March 25, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    Yeah, we didn’t even attempt the tooth fairy. I know myself well enough that there was no way that was going to work. Around here, they hand us a tooth and we hand them a dollar.

    Reply
  9. Heather says

    March 25, 2010 at 8:24 PM

    Oh my..I think a complaint needs to be filed for sloppy work! Report her to Mr.Easter Bunny and Father Time! LOL!!!

    You crack me up!!

    Reply
  10. Valerie says

    March 25, 2010 at 8:57 PM

    Too Funny Min~ but the same here. Brought back memories for all of us though. Love Val

    Reply
  11. Lindsey Petersen says

    March 26, 2010 at 2:09 PM

    OOOOOHHHHHH!!!! This has happened to our tooth fairy more times than I can count! Fortunately, our Easter Bunny and Santa have been much more dependable, (but the value of the treasures they bring have been decreasing due to the poor economy. Even kids can understand that!!)

    Reply
  12. tinkerschnitzel says

    March 29, 2010 at 6:16 AM

    LMAO!! I’ll keep this in mind when Benjamin starts losing teeth. He’s 5, so it’s bound to start any time now.

    Reply
  13. The Lumberjack's Wife says

    March 29, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    Our tooth fairly did something similar this year.
    She is such a disappointment. 🙂

    Reply
  14. Kristi Elston says

    April 5, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    Mindy… the tooth fairy is SOOOO flaky at our house, too. There’s just something about that late night exchange that is so hard to remember!!

    Reply
  15. Amy says

    April 18, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    OOOOOHHHHHH!!!! This has happened to our tooth fairy more times than I can count! Fortunately, our Easter Bunny and Santa have been much more dependable, (but the value of the treasures they bring have been decreasing due to the poor economy. Even kids can understand that!!)

    Reply
  16. Amy says

    April 18, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    Yeah, we didn’t even attempt the tooth fairy. I know myself well enough that there was no way that was going to work. Around here, they hand us a tooth and we hand them a dollar.

    Reply

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