I made an interesting discovery a few days ago. I detected a weakness, saw a challenge and then experienced a moment of resigned understanding.
Allow me to explain…
This weekend I sat chatting with some other first-grade moms during Avery’s basketball game (by the way, still waiting for a basket…at her current rate of skillbuilding Avery should be primed to score her first “2 points” by about the fifth grade. She’s a pretty cute little defender, though.)
As usual, we were discussing our kids and comparing notes. “Oh, Suzy has been counting by tens for months now.” “Sally has already been invited to twelve birthday parties since the beginning of the school year.” “What…is Avery the only one to have earned the nickname ‘skanky mini-skirt wearer’ in the first grade?” Yeah, I’m obviously over that. And for the sake of anonymity “Suzy” and “Sally” are not their real names. Given the growing trend for saddling your kids with originality I probably couldn’t spell their real names anyway.
Somehow our conversation veered towards “Firsts.” As I listened to Suzy and Sally’s moms recount first teeth, steps, haircuts and poops I began to panic as I couldn’t for the life of me remember any dates. Not a single one.
“How about Avery?” Suzy’s mom asked. “Was she an early walker?”
Umm…umm…er. And then suddenly my mouth began spinning this little tale, spewing out fabricated discourse. “Actually, she took her very first steps on her first birthday.” (Not really.) “She saw a shiny little present in my hand and beat feet over to grab it. Shocked us all. So, so cute.” (Gawd…can these women tell I’m lying? Are my hands shaking?)
The moms smiled and nodded their heads. “Actually, that seems to happen a lot. I’ve heard that same story quite a few times.”
Yeah, because other dialed-out moms like me fail to remember these milestones and therefore find themselves reinventing history.
And, as you can imagine, I had all sorts of cute little stories about Avery’s teeth, haircuts and first little poop. Fortunately, Jack’s bowel history is recent enough I had actual facts for that story.
Later that night, after Ihad darted out of the gymnasium, paranoid that I would be branded with a scarlet L or grow a giant nose,I confessed to Jer that I have apparently blocked out the past and have unfortunately picked up a gift for lying.
“Mindy, you didn’t block out the past, and you’ve always been a good liar,” Jer said.
“Um, obviously I did block some stuff out,Jer. I can’t remember a single dang date. Those women were sitting there throwing out all kinds of dates about their four kids and I can’t pull out a single detail about my two kids. That’s not normal, Jer. And, thanks by the way. You sure know how to flatter a girl.”
“Yeah, it’s called a bad memory. I have one too. If someone were to offer me a million dollars to tell them when Avery lost her first tooth I couldn’t pull that date out of my butt for nothing,” Jer said.
“Nice, Jer. Try not to use the words “Avery” and “butt” in the same sentence, next time, please. But I get your point. Something is definitely wrong with us. We need to start doing Sudoku puzzles,” I explained. “We need help.”
“Okay, that wasn’t my point. Add ‘obtuse’ to your list of skills. Mindy, did it ever occur to you why those moms remembered those dates?”
“Because they’re better moms than I am, obviously.” Thanks for the reminder there, hon.
“How do you know they weren’t making stuff up?”
Wait a minute.
Nah.
Could it be?
Could these moms have been reinventing history themselves?
“Hmmm…now that you mention it, that is a distinct possibility,” I said.
“See?”
“Alright, butjust in case let’s bring out the crosswords. I plan on being armed and ready for the next basketball game.”
So, how about you? Do you have a mind like a steel trap or do you tend to reinvent history a little bit?
My conclusion is this: while exact dates and times are nice and can be handy,the real magic is in the memory itself. Do I remember where the milestones hit on the calendar? No. But do I distinctly remember the feeling I had watching my little girl teeter her way to a first step? Most definitely.
Mindy
“Mindy, you didn’t block out the past, and you’ve always been a good liar,†Jer said.-Your husband is a riot!!!! Exact dates are meaningless but memries are everything. Hubby’s probably right, those women are pulling it out of their butts, trying to make you think that they are superwomen mommies!
Yeah, he thinks he’s *super* funny. Real funny guy. =)
Mindy
I remember quite a few details from my oldest and they are all recorded in her baby book. For my second, I remember a bit and made a few notes.
My poor third child has no baby book and I don’t even remember the time of her birth. It was in the morning, but that’s about as exact as I can get.
Hey, two for three ain’t bad. Hey…I’m a third child (well, 2.5…I have a twin brother) and I had to use my baby book for my Cabbage Patch Kid. Now that’s sad. =)
Mindy
Well, child o’ needles walks NOW, so he has to have started at some point, right?
I’m sure it happened that way.
You may have a point there… =)
Mindy
Mmmmm Mindy. That is your name correct? Sorry, sometimes my memory is not the best. Mmmmm,Mindy. That is your name correct? Sorry, sometimes my memory is not the best. Did I say that already ? 🙂
And…I’m sorry but you said your name was…?? =)
Mindy
Seriously?? I think those moms have too much time. Haha. I have a real good memory but no clue on dates. Worse than that…my only babys baby book sadly ends after 1st birthday. WTH? Sad!! Mom fail.
Ah…baby books are way overrated. Or so they say (*they* being the ones who have failed to complete said baby books.) =)
Mindy
I have no baby books. Epic fail. I vaguely remember first steps and lost teeth only because I compared when they did those things to each other. Like CJ actually walked at 9 months. And Sean at 10. But molly? I thought she never would. 13 months for her. She however cut teeth first and lost them first. Both boys were a year old before they had a tooth and then lost them late.
I think it’s totally okay to reinvent history a little. I’m sure they were exaggerating anyway. =] 12 parties? Really?
♥Spot
It’s amazing how kids and their firsts can be SO different! A 9- month old walker?!? Lordy. And, actually, 12 parties wouldn’t really shock me. These elementary school parents LOVE to throw birthday parties. =)
Mindy
I am so bad about dates, names, places. Those don’t seem to stick, but I do remember the event and the feelings that went with it.
Don’t let them gals get to ya. You do remember the important stuff, thats all that counts.
Wow, Mindy. I remember every single detail of my children’s lives. I’m so sorry you’re inadequate as a mother. That must be so hard for you….(you do know that’s sarcasm right? I always fret people will not detect the sarcasm in my voice based on the slant of my letters)
On a better note, I did give you a beautiful blog award, so check it out and enjoy your homework! heh,heh…
Coolest Mom Blogger: Mindy
Funniest Blogger: Mindy
Blogger you would get along with in prison cell: Mindy
That’s no lie!
I bet those other moms don’t have an awesome blog like you! Forget dropping dates and start talking about your blog and google analytics. They won’t know what to say. BTW, does anyone name their kids Suzy and Sally anymore?
You think it’s bad now, wait till they’re much older, and you’re struggling to remember their names! I was “Ta-Shelli” growing up, and my sister was “Sh-Tara” (I think I got the better end of that deal! LOL).
But seriously, I only remember things if they were excruciatingly important. Like time of birth, general month of first steps, and did I leave my kid in the car or the store (when I was finally home after a horrible grocery shopping trip). Some things come back when triggered. Some things I can pull from his baby book (entries dwindled after the first birthday, and were non-existent by the 2nd) or from picture albums (I had the presence of mind to write dates on the back of the pics) or from the digital pics (dates automatically generated by the camera!) or school records, etc. But I’ll be damned if I can remember any DATES on my own!
You’re not alone, and you’re not a bad mother. You’re perfectly normal! So, take that super-moms! 😉