Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you all had an awesome weekend! We had a busy couple of days but sometimes packing your weekend full of plans is just the answer. There’s nothing like a hectic schedule to justify a little Sunday napping. Okay. Who are we kidding here? I never attempt to find justification for my daytime REM. I am Mindy. And I nap.
Another part of my Sunday ritual (besides napping) is to check up on my blog stats.A few months ago my hubby set me up with a Google Analytics account. This is a program that monitors the activity to my blog by providing stats regarding visits, loyalty trending (hello you visitors who abandon me after realizing how neurotic I am) as well as providing information onwhich states have been represented (I’m talking to you, Wyoming. Why the snub? Is it because I accidentally ran over that little protectedtree at Yellowstone? Come on…that was like 13 years ago…time to let it go.)
Another handy dandy little tool that Google Analytics provides is a keyword overview. This tracks google searches that result in directing traffic to my site. I spent a good bit of my morning today shaking my head trying to figure out how these ‘googlers’ found my blog. I spent the other part trying to figure out what would possibly possess someone to search these specific keywords. You’llsee why.
Here area few of my favorites:
1) “My Amazing Boobs” – Wait, are you telling me that my ladies are so renown that Google hastaken it upon itself to direct these booby googlersto my blog? Well, gosh. Thank you, Google. I’m very flattered. I have been working out a little bit lately, chest presses and all that. Glad you’ve taken notice!
2) “Bum Wiped by Mum” – So, here’s my question about this one. Was this person the “bum” or the “mum”? Were they perhaps looking for some information about hygiene? Ormaybe they were researching some dope rhymes for their new rap single?Most likely Mum’s having a hard time letting goand the Bum is having personal boundary issues. Sorry I had no information for you here dude. Hope you’re wiping your own soon!
3) “Poop Training Boy in One Day” – Alright, this one is just mean. It’s like the world-at-large is throwing a big old “In Your Face” at me and my pathetic attempts at freeing my son from the shackles that bind him. Or, more like the velcro tabbed diapersthat support his pooping habi therefor shackling me. I’m trying, people!
4) “Cowboy Junkie Suburban Housewife” – Sandee…is that you? My BFF knows allabout my slightly unhealthy obsession with cowboys. I know I’m not the only one…there’s just something about those chap-wearin’cow wranglers with their’free agent’ attitudeto make a girl yodel “Yee Haw.” And the addition of ‘Suburban Housewife’ to the search query is certainly apropros…us housewives read a lot of Harlequin Romance.
5) “I Hate Our Mailman” – I’m trying to figure out what would possess someone to google this. Just what, exactly, are they hoping to find? A support group? Some message boards? They felt this burningneed to find andrelate with other extremely unsatisfied mail recipients? For the record, my mailman and I have been on very pleasant grounds as of late. I’m pretty sure his distaste for his job and all it entails has lessened slightly. He no longer looks like he’s picturing horrible things happening to me while sucking on a pickled egg. Thank God. I was starting to get a little creeped out.
So, there you have it. Almost six months’ worth of baring my soul and it took “My Amazing Boobs” to draw people to this blog. I should have known. It always comes back to the boobs. And the cowboy junkies.