It has been a harrowing few days with my little sick man. I think we’ve hit about every high and low, far exceeding anything my imagination could even begin to come up with. Being that Jack has been subjected to just about every medication in the pharmaceutical dictionary he has suffered through mood swings comparable to the likes of Joan Crawford and hallucinations worthy of Woodstock. I’ve held him, rocked him, covered him up, uncovered him, put him down, picked him up, read to him, sang to him and cleaned him up. It’s been a tiring experience but very educational in its own right.
Through all of the ups and downs of Jack’s flu experience I came to one very obvious conclusion: men are big weinies.
Jack, with his “man DNA”, reiterated this very fact to me. There is absolutely no doubt that Jack was very, very ill. And I know how badly his little body hurt. But it was his response to it all that initiated him into that male-dominated existence called Wussville.
I mean, we already knew this, right? I doubt there is a woman out there who hasn’t suffered through this injustice and then complained to her girlfriends about it. Our men get a cold and suddenly it’s the very worst cold that has ever infected it’s way across our great land. We couldn’t possibly understand how bad their wittle froats hurt because we quite obviously haven’t experienced anything near to that intensity of pain and discomfort. Even those of us who have passed children through our loins don’t rate.
MEN: Let me quickly say, please do not take offense to my statements in this post. They are factually-based and can be substantiated by many a study and statistic. I think. If I were to take the time to find some. But here”s the deal…own up to the fact that you are horrendously wimpy when you are sick (we all know it) . Either wholeheartedlyembrace this weakness or (wo)man up and fix the thing. That’s all.
My husband has a sick uniform. The minute, and I mean the very minute, that he coughs his first cough or sneezes his first sneeze he changes into his uniform ofsweatpants, hooded sweatshirt and wool socks, shivering and shaking with the frailty of a man afflicted with…the common cold. He takes a steaming hot bath before bed and hunkers down into his covers pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head determined to “sweat it out.” He swears to me that this method works because he always feels better in the morning. And I’m like, “Yeah, you feel better because you weren’t that sick to begin with and you have a stinkin’ cold, not the Bubonic Plague!”
And in true XY chromosome fashion, my little man did not disappoint. He also wore his sweatpants and socks whileacceptinghis unfortunate fate of “fighting the flu” just like any man…in dire need of sympathy, attention and love from his mommy.I will say though, it’s a hell of a lot more endearing coming from a 3 year-old child than my 35 year-old husband.
Love to all, Mindy
Hahaha! Awesome and very true post. I won’t even sleep in the same bed with my husband when he’s sick because he makes these odd little whimpering noises in his sleep and they make me want to put my pillow over his head and hold it down! When we first lived together when we were all of 18 & 19 and he got sick the first time I had to make him grilled cheese and koolaid and get him settled on the couch with the blankie his gma made him and the he looked up and was (I-kid-you-not) all “You’re going to go to work and leave me??”
On a good note…this gene was not passed on to my son. He is extremely stoic when sick and hates to have me fuss over him. One giant step for mankind…
♥Spot
So there IS hope for the future… =)
Mindy
Too funny!
My hubby hardly ever gets sick, but boy when he does….he’s DYING!! LOL! Pull out the will and revise it, just incase he doesn’t pull through!
That cracks me up…they can be so melodramatic can’t they? Like my husband and his “worst ever” mentality. Gag me with a spoon… =)
Mindy
Well I probably won’t be very popular with this comment but her goes: My hubby is the best sick person ever! He never complains someimes I don’t even realize he’s sick. Now on the other side “I” am the big baby. I HATE being sick and I let everyone know how miserable I am. My kids all take after their dad because they are good sick people too. What the Heck? Oh well! Hope I don’t get sick in the near future becase I know that I won’t get any sympothy for any of my family! Hope Jack is feeling better! ~Val
Okay, confession time…I’m a little bit of a weinie when I’m sick and do like all kinds of sympathy BUT I still manage to get things done. Unlike my hubby, who can barely manage to pull his sorry self out of bed. =)
Mindy
I’m so glad I gave birth to a GIRL! HA. I have totally warned my boyfriend I have NO sympathy and if you are sick you can lie down and I will SHUT the door while I watch TV. Heh! *luckily we don’t live together*
Except, I do check on him a hundred times, calling and going by the house. He is a type 1 diabetic on insulin shots, scares me so I check to make sure he’s not in a coma.
Poor YOU! TWO sick men, I hear the rubber walls calling.
Love it…you can be sick all you want because I’ll shut the door and watch the tube. And good call on checking up on him! He must feel very loved! And, honey, those rubber walls have been calling since I had children! =)
Mindy
This is so true. My oldest brother was the only male I have ever know that wasnt a baby when sick.
That’s why women have the babies. Can you imagine?
I think it would be SWEET to have men experience all of 10 minutes of labor. That’s all it would take for them to realize they are of inferior DNA. =)
Mindy
My son lies on the couch and softly moans when he is sick – just like his father. It makes me want to throw things at them.
It sounds like you’ve really been through the wringer this week. I hope Jack is better.
Jer has these “sick eyes” he throws at me. All droopy and sad. Barf. And, Jack is better. Still watching him closely but he’s on the mend! =)
Mindy
LMAO, yep, every guy I know is like this. Although, I have to say that I’ve been very fortunate. Of the men who have been in my life, they are very rarely sick, so I don’t have to deal with this very often. But when I do …. !!!
My Husband does exactly the same thing. He bundles up with an extraordinary amount of clothing, piles on 3 or 4 blankets, PLUS the heated blanket, and “sweats it out”. He’s also banished to the couch, so I don’t have to deal with it. My Son takes it in stride, for the most part. He’s more like, “yeah, my throat hurts, and I’m coughing, and I have a fever of 102*, but can I go play with my friends?”.
*sigh* … men.
Okay, so you are the second person who’s commented that their sons aren’t as wimpy as their husbands. I’m thinking that possibly the weak gene in their DNA is starting to be phased out…Thank God.
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment!! =)
Mindy
I’ve got one for you, though I’m a day late. My husband decided he felt really, really bad, to the point that he took NyQuil (the liquid death version). I slept on the couch so that he could be comfy and I wouldn’t get sick. I got up the next morning and went and checked on him. There he is, lying in bed with blood all over his head and pillow! Talk about being freaked out. Evidently, he got up to go to the bathroom, got dizzy and passed out, hitting his head on the toilet. He thought it would be best just to go back to bed instead of coming to get me, even though he was bleeding. My best friend was sweet enough to take him to the ER so I could go to work the next morning. (She was babysitting my oldest at that point and I didn’t have any sick days I could take.)