Things are starting to get a teensy bit looney in this house. We’ve been on Christmas break for a week and a half, we’ve celebrated the holiday with a whole lot of gusto and are now anticipating one overly long night to ring in theNew Year.
I, for one, am quite ready for this whole “holiday” season to move on with itself. I will say, it’s been really nice not having to wake Avery up for school every morning, facing the wrath that can be her if she hasn’t had enough sleep. In fact, if truth be told, I’ve also been sleeping in a little longer than usual in the mornings. Jer? Well, he has been keeping his same schedule of ‘go to bed late and wake up late, stumble to the computer in his underwear, sit at said computer attempting to read the monitor with his 20/400 vision while his glasses sit but feet away from him’ while I run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to please the every whim of my children. Okay, not every whim. Realistically, I don’t even attempt a good 2/3rds. But, you get the picture, right?
Well, this morning was slightly different. Apparently the universe aligned or the Earth was sprinkled with some sort of alien “generosity” powder because Jer decided to make the bed, once he crawled out of it, late (emphasis added) this morning.
And here’s what I walked in to see.
Do you notice anything, say, slightly off? Like, in a vertical/horizontal directional kind of way?
Yeah. Me, too. I stood in front of that bed for a good 5 minutes trying to understand. What would possess this man to think that this looked right? Now, I’m not being all Type “A” control freak, here. I definitely appreciated the break in my normal routine. But, I’m honestly flummoxed. Did he look at his finished product and say, “Nice job, Jer. Looks perfect.” Or, did he look at it and say, “Oh, sh$@. Oh, well. She probably won’t notice.” I think this is part of that Man DNA I’ve posted about prior. I’m very scared to admit that I think he honestlydidn’t notice that the stripes are going in completely opposite directions. In all actualityI think it looked just fine to him.
And men are predominantly running the world? Hmm.
The insanity does not stop with Jer. The other one with boy parts is suffering from it too. I walked into the living room the other day only to find him brushing the dog, Lewis. At first I thought this was very cute. Sweet, even. Until I noticed one very important factor. He wasn’t using the dog brush.
“Jack. Whose brush are you using?’ I asked, trying to locate the brush entangled in the dog’s poodle hair.
“Oh. It’s jus a brush,” he answered, continuing his styling.
“I see that, dude. Whose is it?”
“Um, oh, it’s mine.” Those bristles are shining up the dog’s hair like nobody’s business. Gross. Not to mention, the dog is looking at me like I’ve failed him miserably.
“Jack. You can’t use your brush on Lewis. He has his own brush. Lewis’hair isn’t as clean as yours, okay? So we don’t use our brushes. Okay?” I ask.
“Sure, mommy. Okay.” He pulls his hairbrush out of Lewis’ poor hair, hands it to me and leaves the roomafter which I proceed to begin a rigorous sanitization session. I finish up and head out to grab some laundry.
Moments later, I come back into the living room and find Jack brushing Lewis. Again. Lewis turns to look at me, the question, “How could you?” unspoken but unmistakable.
“Jack! That’s not a dog brush! I told you not to use your brush.”
“I not. Dis one’s not my brush,” he answers, methodically brushing through each strand of doggy hair.
“Whose is it then?” I ask.
“Oh. Dis one is Avie’s. It’s fine,” he says, vigorously brushing as if he senses that any second his sister’s brush will be ripped from his sneaky little fingers. Smart kid.
So, as you can see, we’re all getting a little stir crazy around here. Too many self-indulgent festive moments make for some pretty looney behavior. We’re ready for some kind of “normal” to set in…and until that happens, I’m making my own bed and keeping the hair brushes under lock and key. Oh, and Lewis is still giving me the cold shoulder.