After our arduous trek through the wilderness to obtain our Halloween pumpkins we came home with the intent of butchering the little dudes. We set them out on the table to admire our amazing gourd-picking skills and began mentally sketching out the perfect faces.

“Whatddya think kids?” Jer asked, butchering tools in hand. This is his forte. There’s something very parentally satisfying about carving your kid’s pumpkins. It’s a feat that somehow manages to both satisfy his “manly” side and fulfill one of his annual obligations to perform dad things, i.e. cutting down the Christmas tree, pulling a sled through arctic conditions, managing a kite in 30 mph winds, hooking up the slip ‘n slide and setting off fireworks. Carving pumpkins fits right in that list.

After much thought and consideration Avery answered, “I want mine to be a happy face with long eyelashes.”

“Sounds like a good plan, Av,” I answered. “How about you Jack?”

I could almost see the thoughts rushing through the little man’s already overworked brain and could only imagine the flashes of creativity he would soon be burdening his father with.

“Um, I fink I want a really scary looking one. Wike a mean one. But nice,” Jack explained.

“A really scary, mean but nice pumpkin?” I asked.

“No! A ghost one,” he said.

Oh, here we go.

“A pumpkin ghost?” Jer asked.

“I said a ghost dat’s a pumpkin. Wike a Halloween one,” he said, completely exasperated with my holiday ignorance.

“O-o-okay,” I said.

“You know, wike Michael Jackson. Wike friller nights.” For those who aren’t currently versed in Jack-speak that roughly translates to, “You know, like Michael Jackson. Like Thriller nights.”

“Let me get this straight. You want your pumpkin carved like a ghost with a mean face but a nice personality in the style of Thriller?” I asked.

“Yep,” he answered.

A mean pumpkin with *a nice* personality. Yeah. That’s going to be easy.

Jer prepped his knife, sleeves went up andthen chaos ensued. The good kind.

As you can plainly see, Jack ended up with a very standard Jack o’ Lantern. This would be due to his quickly waning patience level and his father’s inability to successfully effect the King of Pop. I somehow managed to convince my son that his pumpkin although joyful in his facial expression was actually very sinister in spirit. It worked.

Halloween draws near and our pumpkins are ready to greet the trick-or-treaters. Here’s hoping I’m as ready as they are.

Happy Friday!

Mindy